Long Distance Relationship Tips: 12 Ways to Make It Work
By the Pookeez team · · 6 min read
A new job in another city, studies abroad, or a match who lives a flight away. Long distance relationships are more common than ever, and plenty of them work. Here are 12 long distance relationship tips to stay close when you’re far apart.
Communication
1. Find your communication rhythm
Some couples call every night, others text through the day and video call on weekends. There’s no right amount. Talk about what works for both of you, and adjust when schedules change.
2. Choose quality over quantity
Ten distracted calls aren’t better than one where you’re both actually present. Put the laptop away and give each other your full attention.
3. Share the small stuff
A photo of your lunch, a voice note on your commute, a meme that made you laugh. The everyday details are what make you feel part of each other’s lives.
4. Talk about the hard things
Distance can make small worries grow. If something’s bothering you, say it kindly and early. It’s easier to sort out on a call than to let it build.
Staying connected
5. Plan virtual dates
Watch a movie together on a video call, cook the same recipe, play an online game or order each other dinner. Making it a “date” makes it feel special.
6. Send something real
A handwritten letter, a care package or a surprise delivery goes a long way. Physical things are a reminder that you’re thinking of them.
7. Keep your own life going
Spend time with friends, keep up your hobbies and enjoy your city. A happy, full life makes you a better partner, not a distracted one.
8. Get to know their world
Learn the names of their friends and colleagues, and ask about their routine. It helps you picture their day and feel closer.
Trust and the future
9. Build trust, don’t monitor
Checking their location or social media constantly creates anxiety, not trust. If you’re worried, talk about it openly.
10. Always have the next visit planned
Having a date on the calendar gives you something to look forward to and makes the distance feel temporary.
11. Make the most of visits, without pressure
Plan a few special things, but leave room for ordinary moments like cooking together or running errands. Those matter too.
12. Talk about closing the gap
Long distance works best with an end in sight. Talk honestly about when and how you might live in the same city, even if the plan is a few years away.
Signs it might not be working
- Calls feel like a chore for both of you.
- There’s no plan, or no interest in a plan, to close the distance.
- Trust has broken down and keeps causing fights.
- One person is doing all the effort.
If that sounds familiar, an honest conversation is better than drifting apart. And if it ends, here’s how to get over a breakup.
Long distance FAQs
Do long distance relationships work?
Many do. They tend to work best with good communication, trust, regular visits and a shared plan to eventually live in the same place.
How often should you talk in a long distance relationship?
There’s no set amount. Agree on a rhythm that suits both your schedules, and focus on the quality of your conversations rather than the number.
What are good virtual date ideas?
Watch a movie together, cook the same recipe on a video call, play an online game, take a virtual museum tour or order each other a surprise dinner.
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